5 things you need to know if you love someone with Aspergers

After seeing so many different, 5 things to do before you hit 25 or any number of lists, I thought it was important to write a list of my own. So here it is the '5 things you need to know if you love someone with Aspergers syndrome'.



1. They say it how it is -
No matter how many times I am surprised or see others slightly shocked by what my other half says, I have to remind myself she says things exactly how she sees it. If I ask rhetorically if my bum looks big or an outfit looks right, if she thinks it isn't so great she will say. She will also tell me I'm fat when I want a 'you look lovely'. She will tell your coach she thinks the exercise is boring or tell you that the game you played wasn't great. But she will be honest. She won't lie to me and let me walk out the house looking ridiculous, and sometimes, that's better than not knowing.

2. Good days and bad -
Like everyone, people with aspergers have both good days and bad. But at times, the bad days are more noticeable, when the whole world seems too much. The days when a simple hug or a trip to town are just too much. Know it is not your fault, with every good day there is some bad, and stick together. If she wants to be left alone, don't force it. If she needs a hug, give it. Be patient, remember we all have an off day and remember tomorrow is another day.

3. Family and support -
Having a good family and support behind them is essential. Yes, so it means that she talks with her mother about out silly little arguments or will text her when I've said or done something to upset her. But it means that I have someone to turn to as well. When she's having one of those days or I don't understand the problem with trying new foods or going new place, sitting down and talking to her family, the ones that have been with her for the last 20 something years helps. If they can't explain something then at least being able to talk about seems easier. My other half's mother is amazing, we often have a cup of tea and catch up and she knows she can text me anytime she needs to. Having that relationship has helped with the good bad and everything in-between that comes with aspergers.

4. People are stupid -
Those that have no idea about aspergers or autism will think her quirks are weird or stupid. People often completely miss what aspergers is and talk of 'lower intelligence' or how 'weird' the person you love is. You need to learn to bite your tongue when it's just a passing comment and stick up for yourself and your other half at times. Know which battles to fight, don't take anything others say personally and remember your relationship is your own, not anyone else's.

5. Aspergers isn't everything -
So, I'm saving the best till last. The most important thing you need to know about being in love with an aspie, is that is does not define them. It may help to explain why she has obsessions or phases of different hobbies, why she has fears of eating at new places or likes to eat what she knows. But that isn't everything. It isn't a life sentence or a problem. Yes, it comes with it's quirks but at the end of the day if you love a person you take them for their good and bad. Aspergers does not need to define your life or your relationship, so educate yourself, know what you can and just enjoy each and every day together. That's what love is.