Birthday suprises

Grown ups can be bullies too!

So recently I got a phone call from my other half after work. I picked up to hear her sobbing on the other end of the line. It's all sorted now, but still its something I want to talk about.

As anyone would do, I went straight to meet her and sat in her car talking to her before we went home. Although, it was hard to get any information out. Like other aspies, when she's upset she refuses to talk. I finally got out of her that someone had been continuously rude to her over a couple of months and it had finally escalated and caused this tearful outburst.

It all started a few months ago when the person in question kept staring at my other half throughout one day. She told me that when she asked why he replied 'becuase it's fun'. What was fun? Making her feel uncomfortable? This person then went on to do similar things making my other half feel belittled until last week when he called her a 'retard'.

Anyone, with or without disability, can say that being called any kind of name no matter how old you are hurts. But being called the same word that the bullies at school spent years calling you is something more. It took a couple of days for my other half to finally tell me she reacted because he called her a 'retard' and it's taken her even longer to convince herself to try to ignore him and move on from the situation.

Bulling isn't just that thing that happened in the school playground when you were a teen. And it's not right to ever make another person feel less becuase of their disabilities. Everyone is  different and nobody is perfect. I hope that someone at least reads this and stops something like this from happening again, even if it's just once. Because well... if your a grown up... act like one.

Because Art is universal

So, a few weeks ago I wrote about the Artists of Autism Art Exhibition, brain child of photographer Karen and soon to be must see.

The official poster, go go go, check it out!

Well, I'm pleased to say the exhibition will kick off tomorrow at 2pm with a bang! With artists from all over the world, a stash of prizes and goodies up for grabs in the raffle and months spent planning, it's sure to be a hit.

I want to write this and get as many of you to even take a look at the facebook page. It's important that as many people as possible take a look, the more that see it the greater the promotion of autism awareness, and how better to do it than by looking at art. It's my idea of a great day out.

Using art to promote awareness, for me really goes to show two things. 1. That art is universal, it can be used to break down the barriers and stigma that surround 'disability'. Anyone and everyone can appreciate a good piece of art. And 2. It's a great way to show off the talents and special interests of those with autism and show the amazing things that can be created. In some ways, showing that obsessions, well, they may not all be bad for you.

A lot of work and effort has been put into getting the artists work all under one roof and getting the venue ready in the lead up to the event. It's worth a look.

Understanding (Autistic) You

I started writing this blog in a hope to reach out to others who have experience with autism, and hopefully give an insight into my relationship, loving someone with aspergers. I wanted to look at the stereotypes and break them, bend them, and show that love doesn't care for ability or disability. Sometimes it just creeps up on us. I wanted to tell others that it's not all doom and gloom.

I started this blog for two main reasons, the first as I said to reach out to others. But the other, that's more personal.

I wanted to write this blog so, in hindsight, I could look back and understand my other half and her autism better. As I've stressed before, autism does not define her. Everyone is made of more than simply their abilities, quirks and disabilities.

Sticking my two pence in

So I've written about communication and aspergers a few times. I've brushed over how people often take my other half as being rude instead of being very direct. If you ask a questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no, you are almost guaranteed to get a one word response.

Over time I've seen over and over again people getting frustrated with the lack of detail and the simple answers she gives. And time after time, I find myself butting in, offering a fuller explanation and talking for her.

At times, this works. When talking to her mother or close friends, they let me do the talking and explain in more detail different things. Other times, like when talking to my family or someone that doesn't know her so well, it looks different. I am conscious of the faces I get for butting in. She's not simple and I'm not doing it to make her look stupid, I'm doing it because if I don't, the only answers you will get will be one syllable long.

How do I change this?

Am I meant to stand there and watch as she gives one word answers and watch the frustration break across the other persons face? Am I meant to let the conversation die painfully? Do I explain? Do I say, you need to avoid simple questions? Do I tell her to give more detail? Or would that send us off on a completely different tangent, will she then share too much and we be back to square one of awkwardness.

What do you suggest I do? Because I'm not sure I can sit through anymore of those odd moments...