Weekend away, breaking the routine.

This weekend I am off to a team building weekend with England Deaf Rugby. I couldn't be more excited to go run around in the mud doing some crazy assault course then pull on the England top sunday for my very first time. And while I am running about trying to find every last bit of kit I may need, my other half is struggling.

We see each other every weekend without fail, so it's only two days away, but it's a big deal. This weekend I will be breaking the friday night routine to bog off to somewhere where I won't have constant contact and won't be spending time with her.

Preparation.
It may sound silly, but after the last time I went away for two nights I have had to come up with some sort of preparation. I was told by her own mother never to go away without her again because she became unbearable for the weekend, so I'm off again but this time I hope it's a little less stressful on us all.

Instead of disappearing off without thinking about it I wrote a card and posted it, so that it will arrive today or tomorrow. In it I have given her some things to do for the weekend, from remembering to visit her nan to doing two things that make her happy. It sounds silly but I am hoping that 1. it will arrive on time, if it turns up monday that's too late and 2. that it will help make this weekend a little easier.

We love each other and even though I know she doesn't mind me going on rugby trips, I know she's proud of me for getting involved with England Deaf team, I know full well that a disruption to her routine is a challenge. So fingers crossed the card will work. I guess we will watch this space!

Birthday bash, plenty of cake and perfect presents!

So this weekend was my birthday, and despite my other half missing out on my family bbq due to a severe ear infection, it's been quite a bash. For this post, I wanted to talk a little about the stress my other half goes through when it comes to birthdays.

To use the words of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory:

'The entire institution of gift giving make no sense. Let's say that I go out, and I spend 50 dollars on you, it's a laborious activity, because I have to imagine what you need, where as you know what you need.'

Present buying for my other half can go either way. She admits it herself, it's always a little bit hit and miss. There tend to be two outcomes 1. she has a fool proof present plan. She's paid way too much attention to a passing glance and a 'wouldn't one of those look pretty' fly-away comment that someone has made and voila that's what you get. or 2. panic buying. She forgets, rushes to the supermarket and panic buys, leaving with a hatstand and a bag of oranges, because you liked the colour orange and you wore a hat once.

Luckily, for my birthday, I didn't get a hatstand, I got a cake stand full of carefully iced and glittered cupcakes. Her plan had worked, she had thought of all the things that I liked and got presents to suit them. So while I sit here stuffing my face with cupcakes, testing my Cat's IQ, with my new Cat IQ book, and drinking tea from my Mad Hatters Teacup. I must say, it's been a smashing birthday!

Failing to find full-time employment...

As my other half has been looking for a job, I started to look into services there are to help those with autism find employment. Once again I turn to the National Autistic Society's website for information and am faced again with a very sobering fact. Only 15% of people with Autism in the UK are in full time employment. 79% of those who don't have employment want to work. 


It's shocking that only so many people with autism want to work but struggle to find full-time employment. But then again, I am not actually that surprised. Having seen first hand as my other half has struggled with employment, faced with prejudice and stigma surrounding her Autism, I am left knowing that something is not right. 

Who doesn't love lego?

About a month ago my other half and I went to legoland. When she first told me she had tickets I was a little apprehensive. Wasn't legoland for kids? and I have a horrible fear of any kind of roller-coaster. 

I remember the Pirates of the Caribbean boat ride in Disney when I was about 8, I freaked out in the line waiting to go on, screamed cried and had to be shocked into stopping me from getting hysterical. So when my other half suggested a trip to a theme park, the dread and terror came back and I reluctantly agreed. 

Everyone knows someone with Autism!

Ok, so technically this may be pushing the truth a little. But I found something on the National Autistic Society's website about just how many people in the UK are affected by Autism. They state that around 7,000 people in the UK may have Autism. Put simply thats 1 in every 100 people.
Take a second to think about your day, for me, I work in London, I get the train with hundreds of people, walk through a city full of hundreds of people every single day. By default I must come into contact with dozens of people with Autism everyday.

My point?You can't always tell when looking at someone that they have autism. It's a hidden disability and depending on the severity and how it affects an individual can be noticeable or not. When I first met my other half, I had no idea she had autism and when she told me I panicked.

Why am I saying this?To get you to think. Think about that 1 in 100 and think about how many people you are in contact with each day. When it comes down to it, autism may not be that far away from you after all.

Why Autism education is essential.

I guess in a way this post is sort of a rant. In the last few months my other half started a job telling them at the interview she had Aspergers. Three weeks in and the Autism word comes up in conversation with her manager. His reply 'If I knew you were Autistic and of lower intelligence I never would have employed you.' Needless to say that job didn't last a lot longer than that.

Hearing this made my blood boil. Aspergers does not affect intelligence as he suggested. It is known that those with Aspergers are intelligent and with an IQ to challenge MENSA, my other half falls into this category.

My other half, yes she was upset at first but then she told me it's the same thing she has faced so many times. On applications you have to state your disability yet half the time it means you are put in the reject bin. Am I exaggerating? I don't think so. Although employers like to think that they are all inclusive and representative in the workplace, I know from my own experience, that most workplaces aren't. As for her, she's had to pick herself up yet again from the blow of being called out for being different, yes it's taken a while, she's struggled with it, but we are getting there.

My point...More people need to be educated about Aspergers and Autism. So it affects the way she communicates with people, but that doesn't mean a person is any less intelligent. A job is hard enough for someone who is sensory stimulation and communication challenges without the same old ignorance. The stigma that surrounds Autism and intelligence or capability needs to go.

Have you been through similar? What else can we do?

Why I want to work with people with disabilities.

So, this is a little off topic but it is something that I feel I needed to get out in the open. As I am sitting in the office on lunch I have decided to write this all about my long term ambition to work with others who have disabilities.

Festivals and fun

When it comes to crowds, loud noises and sleeping in a tent over a hundred miles away from home, it sounds to my other half like her idea of hell. And being the enthusiastic and sometimes forgetful girl I am, I booked us tickets for a weekend festival in Oxford without thinking twice.