The curse of the hidden disability

The more I read other blog and the more I talk to Aspie's I find one thing keep and keep occurring. And for want of other ways to describe it, I will call it the 'curse of the hidden disability'. I am not Autistic, and I don't feel that I can fully understand what people who are go through. But I have my own issues and disabilities that for this post I feel more comfortable using as my examples.

I, as mentioned before am dyslexic, and (I don't think I have mentioned before) since 2011 I have been wearing a hearing aid.

Hidden

At 16 I started college and pestered the teachers into giving me a test for dyslexia. All the times I had mentioned it in the past I had been ignored. I was stuck to the back of class in English and excelled at Math. The teachers just told me that I needed to accept that words were not my strong point and the letters jumping about didn't really happen. When I was finally told I was dyslexic, I felt relieved to be able to give a name and have a reason behind my inability to read. (My reading age at 16 was less than your average 10 year olds). But dyslexia isn't just about words, it has a lot to do with problems with short term memory and all sorts of things. It means I am often loosing things even straight after I put them down. And it has caused me many a problem, and still does today. Not a day goes past without me using the phrase 'I can't find my...' followed by various items from keys to glasses to phone, you name it, I've lost it. (Yes I've even managed to loose my phone and send myself into a wild panic while talking to someone on it).

When you look at me, you can't instantly tell I have a problem with words. In some ways this is good, I am not judged by my ability to spell when you first glance at me. But in other ways it's a curse. Having to explain over and over again to people when I am writing that I have a problem with words gets tiring. Especially at work. I design newspapers for a living, which means at times I have to sub. I remember one work experience working for the local newspaper and I got the headline of a story 'Angel FC' wrong and spelt it as 'Angle'. The subs in the office roared with laughter and I ran off to cry. Apart from my boss, the others didn't know I was dyslexic and not being able to see that meant that they had left me in tears without realising.

Visible

Then again, I wouldn't always say having a more visible disability makes you better off. A week before my 21st birthday I found out I was partially deaf in my left ear. Within two months I was given my first hearing aid (I'm on number 2 or 3 at the moment). I became very aware of people seeing my aid when they spoke to me and went through a stage of having my hair down. Now, I'm not so bothered, having my hair down all the time was just plain annoying.

When people notice the aid they tend to do one of two things, they shout or they talk to me like I'm stupid. Yes, I can't hear, but I wear an aid to make me hear better, and my right ear is perfect, so talking slowly and loudly is just annoying. I am not stupid, I have a university degree and a high IQ. But because of this little piece of metal over my ear peoples reactions to me change. At times, you can even tell the second they have noticed it, when their volume goes up and their sentences get longer. So simply, no, having a visible disability isn't great either.

Overall

Whether or not your disability is hidden or visible, there are good and bad points for both. From what I've experienced and from talking to others, sometimes the best and easiest way is to out yourself and your differences when you meet someone new. Just be tactful, I can imagine 'Hi I'm Amie and I'm dyslexic and deaf' not always being the best opening line.