Because 'tact' is not her middle name

Nearly everyone out there can relate to those times you're feeling down and your fishing for a compliment. When you are having a bad day and you just want someone to tell you that things are not as bad as you thought. You turn to the ones you love, make a comment about yourself, usually something negative or something that's upsetting you and you await the reply. You wait for something that will make you smile.

Well, as you can guess, situations like these don't always go to plan.

Aspergers is known to have an affect on communication and how a person socialises. In particular my other half struggles with social cues, knowing what is the right thing to say at the right time. And I have one example in particular which I will be using for this.

As I was describing above. This was one of those such days that you want a compliment. I was having a bad day at work and then I happened to see a photo of myself. And this photo, well it wasn't the most flattering. I was shocked at the person that was looking back at me. I know I had been lacking on the exercise front and making up for it on the munching side, and that I was very good at.

So, fishing as you do for a compliment to make me feel better I text my other half. And her response wasn't quite what I was looking for. Instead of the 'I'm sure it's just the angle' or 'it's just the colour that doesn't look good on you' or even 'the photographer wasn't great', I got a little too honest reply.

'You're a bit overweight but I've seen worse'

My first reaction was to argue, to be annoyed with her and to get upset. My weight has always been a sensitive subject and for her to tell me that I was a little overweight was hurtful. So instead of getting upset about it I changed the subject. I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

I told a few people about this and some of them cringed the others laughed. One in particular asked me what I expected from an aspie. Now at least I can laugh about it. I know she wasn't being offensive. She's honest and blunt, but that's how she is. Next time when I am searching for a compliment I'll go to someone else. And when I want someone to be less tactful then I will ask her.

So yes, it has got me back on the bike (my legs are killing after the 20 miles I did yesterday) and in some ways it gave me the kick into action that I needed. But in others, more importantly, I know that tact just may not be in her dictionary.