Explain, explain and explain again.

If there's one thing I've learnt other than how to master the art of patience, it's that you can never explain enough.

There's no point jumping straight onto the angry bus. So, she's stormed away from the coach at rugby training but instead of ranting about the embarsmemt of the situation, talk and listen. Only by talking and asking why did you do that and explaining the situation can it be avoided again.

So this happened a little while ago. She got into a mood and stormed away. I finished the session then went to find her. When I asked what it was all about she said the girls weren't being nice to her because she wasn't good.

In actual fact the girls had taken her to the side to help teach her tackling or something. A couple of them had called her to the side to show her what to do. Her lack of reading the situation and inability to tell that they were being nice not nasty was wrong. Instead of jumping to the 'don't be so stupid' I asked what had they done and why she had thought they weren't being nice.

I had to explain that they were helping, that at rugby, when the coach or your teammates pull you to the side, unlike in my last team, with the new team it is to help. No bit of criticism is given without a plate load of helpful hints, advice and guidance to wash it down with.

Sometimes, a little time, an explanation and a kind word are better than going straight for the jugular.

Light on? Light off?

As I have talked about before. Routine and the need to keep things constant is important to those with
Aspergers. Little changes that to me, or those who are not on the spectrum, things that seem insignificant can make all the difference.

I found out the importance of routines when my partner and I were first together. I found out about her breakfast routine, she always eats before getting out of bed. She has a routine for putting her clothes on in the morning, socks first, which is mad socks are the last thing I put on. Most everyday activities have some sort of routine or similarity to them, that's how she likes it and that's how it should be done.

Then one night at hers, we shut her bedroom door, went to bed and her mum turned the hallway light off.

Everyone just wants to fit in

photo taken from http://animalia-life.com/swan.html

There's  one unspoken rule in life that everyone needs to fit in. Everyone needs to have a place in the world and everyone works out where they fit in.

But in this struggle to make sure we fit into our own surroundings, with friends, family and work. We often forget that others too are struggling to fit in.

The more I observe people and the more I start to understand my other half's struggles to conform to society and fit in. The more I have come to realise we are all swans.