Understanding (Autistic) You

I started writing this blog in a hope to reach out to others who have experience with autism, and hopefully give an insight into my relationship, loving someone with aspergers. I wanted to look at the stereotypes and break them, bend them, and show that love doesn't care for ability or disability. Sometimes it just creeps up on us. I wanted to tell others that it's not all doom and gloom.

I started this blog for two main reasons, the first as I said to reach out to others. But the other, that's more personal.

I wanted to write this blog so, in hindsight, I could look back and understand my other half and her autism better. As I've stressed before, autism does not define her. Everyone is made of more than simply their abilities, quirks and disabilities.



My other half really is more than just a girl with aspergers. But autism comes with her, it's part of the package and it's something I have had to learn to understand, and in some ways learn to love, over time.

I spent a lot of time researching aspergers when I first met her. I wanted to know everything I could, good, bad and ugly. And I felt like I knew most of what I needed to when we first started dating. I knew about communication issues, lack of subtly, special talents and obsessions. I made a mental note of everything I found out and how to deal / cope with different situations.

But like everything, books and websites can't prepare you for reality. You can read all you want to about driving or cooking, but unless you do it yourself you will never drive or make a meal for yourself. Similarly, reading all I could about autism didn't quite prepare me for the day to day challenges and quirks of loving someone with autism.

Like any couple, we have our ups and downs, our arguments and our laughs. Luckily, the good times and the fun far outweigh the bad. (Despite my blog seeming to focus on some of the more negative quirks that come with aspergers).

I've learnt when it's easier to let something go and when to stand my ground. I've learnt about the little things, like not talking when she's drawing and making sure we plan things in advance. I've become more organised and more active (we always seem to be going somewhere and doing something new). We never run out of things to do or things to talk about.

So sometimes I wish she was more cuddly, but that really depends on the day. And overall, our relationship is strong and  I am very happy.


I just hope that reading this can give an insight into aspergers and what it is to love someone with aspergers. And if I can make one person re-think the whole 'a person with autism can't love' debate, then that's my job well done.