Plan, plan and plan again.

I've never been a great one for plans. I have always seemed to let things happen, let other people take the lead or even 'go with the flow'. In other words I forget what I have said to whom and have to constantly back track and change plans once I have made them. No matter how organised I try to be, it just doesn't come naturally to me and that's just how I am.

It's never been a great problem, everyone who knows me well knows my lack of social organisaton and they tend to let me go with it. Sure I've upset a few people forgetting birthdays and whatnot. But in the end it has always kinda worked itself out.

Then I met my partner.

At first, as I work in London Monday-Friday we used to plan a week in advance when we were seeing each other. Every Friday after work  I was going round hers for the night and then we stayed at mine or hers Saturday night. It worked well and never caused a problem.

Then came the day I changed plans. In passing one weekend I was asked if I would stay at hers, and as usual I said yes, sure. It wasn't until the day itself that I remembered a family event.

I tried to change the plans, cancel on her and tell her I would make it up on the weekend. But as all those who know autism will say, it's not as simple as that. Changing plans is a big deal, there is no, we can do it tomorrow. It's more, I expected this to be happening and now it's not I don't know how to deal with this, reaction.

So after a few missed plans and failed attempts and scheduling. And yes, a few times I've upset her and made different plans or changed things (not without a near meltdown or two). I've become more organised, started writing down what I am meant to be doing and when. And she's learnt not to plan too far ahead and we will work out what we do on the weekend during the week. That way, if plans do drastically change there may be some wiggle room.